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Although you never want to force your girlfriend to have sex with you, you can always soothe some of her fears and reassure her that you really are a person she can fully trust.

After you do this, sex comes naturally. If you want to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you, show her she can rely on you by turning up on time for your dates, since someone is more likely to want to make love if they trust you.

After she arrives, offer her a drink and play some romantic, relaxing music such as jazz. As the evening develops, kiss her when it feels right but hold back from rushing straight to the bedroom, which will help build the sexual desire between you both.

For tips on how to turn your girlfriend on physically, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No. Please help us continue to provide you with our trusted how-to guides and videos for free by whitelisting wikiHow on your ad blocker.

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Related Articles. Article Summary. Author Info Last Updated: September 22, Part 1 of Be dependable. If you want to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you, then you should show her what an amazingly dependable guy you are.

If your girl is going to trust you enough to have sex with you, whether it's her first time or if she's had sex before, then she has to feel like she can depend on you.

One of her fears may be that as soon as you have sex, she won't be able to rely on you anymore because you would have gotten what you wanted.

So, prove her wrong by being an upstanding and dependable guy. Show up when you say you're going to show up.

If you routinely pick her up half an hour late for your dates, she'll think that you don't think she's so special, and she'll be less likely to have sex with you.

Don't be a flake. If you say you're going to take her to the beach over the weekend, do it. If you don't stick to your word, she won't be able to trust you.

Be her rock. Let her talk to you about her problems and insecurities while knowing that you can make her feel better. Don't go hours or even a day or two without returning her phone calls or texts.

This will make her feel like she can't depend on you. Give it time. Some guys can be ready to have sex with a girl in the time it takes to down a beer, while some girls can take months, or even longer, to decide that they're ready to make love.

And some girls -- sorry, gentlemen -- are really adamant about holding out for the one, and don't even want to have sex before marriage.

So, don't rush into it -- wait for the girl to trust you first. If your girl is barely comfortable with kissing, then you shouldn't bring up the "s-word" for a while.

However, if you and your girlfriend are already comfortable hooking up in bed all the time after just a few weeks, then you can start thinking about taking it to the next level.

If you want to make your girlfriend want to have sex with you, the worst thing you can do is bring it up or try to force it when it's way too early.

This will turn your girlfriend off and will make her much less likely to sleep with you. Do not act like you are obsessed with sex.

Let's face it -- if you're a male of a certain age who is desperate for his girlfriend to have sex with him, then you probably are obsessed with sex.

But that doesn't mean you have to make jokes, innuendos, or even blatant references to sex all the time.

The last thing you want your girlfriend to think is that you're a horndog who is so obsessed with sex that you don't care which lady comes into your bed.

You should make her feel special, like you want only her. You don't have to hide the fact that you're a man with needs, but you should avoid being vulgar, talking about sex all the time, or talking about other people who have sex all the time.

Don't make derogatory comments about other women. This will make your girlfriend feel like a piece of meat. Remember that you're not with your bros, but with your special lady.

Be loyal. If you want to make your girlfriend trust you, then you have to be loyal to her. She'll never have sex with you if she thinks you're talking to or checking out other women, or even hanging out with other women.

Though you don't have to be rude to or ignore other women, you should have a laser-sharp focus on your girlfriend so she knows that you will always be there for her, especially after you start having sex.

Spend lots of time with her. Make sure that you plan at least one or two dates every week and that you check in with her at least once a day if you're not together.

There's a difference between being loyal and being possessive and smothering your girlfriend with affection. You should not only show your girl that you're loyal by being loyal to her, but by showing that you're a loyal sibling, friend, and teammate.

Show loyalty in many aspects of your life and your girl will be impressed. Part 2 of Treat her like a lady. If you want your girlfriend to have sex with you, then you should treat her like a lady, not just like someone you want to hook up with.

To do this, you have to be a gentleman and be courteous, kind, understanding, and generally admirable. Open doors for her, give her your coat when she's cold, pull out chairs for her, and help her carry her heavy bags.

Make sure to compliment her to let her know how great she looks or how special she is. It's important to be a gentleman, but don't do anything that feels too unnatural to you, or she'll be able to tell that you're not being yourself.

Clean your home. This may sound silly, but if you want your girlfriend to really feel special, then you shouldn't invite her to hang out at your place if it looks like the set for World War Z.

You need to make sure to remove any dirty laundry off your floor, clean your counters, and make your bed look and smell as clean and inviting as possible.

Not only will this make your lady feel special, but it'll make her feel more inclined to have sex with you. She won't want to get it on if your bed is covered in candy wrappers and dirty underwear.

If you drive her around a lot, you should also keep a clean car. Give your lady the respect she deserves by making sure she has a clean seat.

Show an interest in all of her; not just her body. Your girl's biggest fear may be that you don't care at all about her mind because you're too busy obsessing over her body.

So, you have to prove her wrong. Show her that you are about who she is as a person, about her hopes and dreams, and about what makes her tick.

Ask her about her friendships, her childhood, and her favorite experiences. Show her that you value her opinion.

Ask her what she thinks about the current political situation in your state, or about the look of your new outfit.

Make eye contact when you talk to her. Show her that everything she says is important to you. Take her out on romantic dates. If you want to build the sexual tension, you have to build the romance first.

Make her feel special by taking her out, dressing up, and picking a romantic spot for dinner, a drink, or even just for stargazing.

You don't have to do anything corny or out of your element to make her feel special. Though you and your lady can have fun at baseball games, birthday parties, or at a loud, sweaty concert, these events will be less conducive to lovemaking.

Doing something romantic once in a while will show your lady that she really matters to you. Be attentive to her needs. If you're not attentive to your lady's everyday needs, then how will you be attentive in the bedroom?

Your girl needs to feel like you know when she's sad, nervous, anxious, or even just cold or hungry. Pay attention to her eyes, her body language, and her words to know if there's something bothering her.

If you act completely oblivious when she's obviously upset about something, then she'll think you're not really paying attention to her.

If something's wrong, don't be afraid to ask her what's up. This will only show that you care. Make sure she's ready to have sex.

This doesn't mean that she's ready for sex, but it does make it more likely that she wants to be intimate.

Method 2 of Be prepared. If you plan on asking your girlfriend if she wants to have sex, then you should do it in an intimate setting -- not while you're splitting a cheeseburger.

So, if you're ready to have sex, and it turns out that she's ready to have sex, then what does this mean?

Don't show up at her place, or invite her to yours, knowing that there's a chance you'll have sex without being prepared. Don't show the condoms to her or creep her out, but have them at your disposal just in case she is ready.

Nothing will ruin an intimate moment more than a trip to the drugstore. Get intimate. Once you're prepared for action, you should reach a point where you're intimate with your lady.

This means you should take her out, make her feel special, and then get some time alone with her. How intimate do you have to be? This depends on how fast things progress.

If you're already in the bedroom and part -- or most -- of your clothes are off, then it is time to ask her for confirmation that she is ready to take things to the next level.

If you're just kissing on the couch and she doesn't make any more moves, it may be too soon to ask. Ask if she's ready. When the time is right, stroke your woman, look into her eyes, and say, "Are you ready?

Make it clear that you're asking whether or not she's ready for sex, and wait for a response. She'll appreciate that you can be subtle and open at the same time.

Obviously, make sure your girl is sober when this decision is made. The worst thing you can do is pressure her into doing something she'll regret later when you're both under the influence.

React appropriately. If she says she's ready for sex, then do a private cheer, get your condoms, and get ready to get it on. And if she says she's not ready, respect her decision and let her know that you're perfectly cool with that.

Tell her she's worth the wait and that she can take all the time she needs. Be a gentleman. If you get angry or try to pressure her, then she'll be second guessing your relationship right away.

If she says no, cool it for a while. Don't ask her if she wants to have sex every time you give her a peck on the lips. That will get old fast.

Never rush. Method 3 of See if she's talking about sex more often. If your girlfriend is ready to take the next step with you, it's likely that she'll be talking about sex more.

She can do this in a lot of different ways, from talking about your friends who just started having sex, to casually asking your opinion on sexual topics.

If the word "sex" is on the tip of her tongue, then it's obviously on her mind. If she's suddenly very curious about which of your friends are having sex and which aren't, then she may be wondering when you two will have sex too.

See if she gives you sexual compliments. If she tells you that you have a great chest, sexy biceps, or amazing abs, then she's hinting that your body turns her on.

Instead of telling you that she likes your shirt or that you have a great haircut, she's choosing to let you know that she notices your body -- and may be thinking about all of the things it can do for her.

If she gives you these compliments while you're kissing or being intimate, then it's even more likely that she may want to take the next step.

See if she talks about your bed a lot. If she comes over, pats your bed, and says it's "really comfortable," then she may be hinting that she wants to lie down on it with you.

If she even does lie on the bed and talk about how great it is, then she wants you to join her as soon as possible. See if she just tells you she's turned on.

This is a pretty bold move, but yes, your lady may just tell you that she's in the mood, feeling frisky, or just wants to hook up. This doesn't necessarily mean that she wants to have sex, but if she's comfortable enough to tell you that she's in the mood for something intimate, then it's not a leap that she may want to have sex with you.

See if she talks dirty. If your girlfriend has started talking dirty to you over the phone, sending you dirty texts, talking dirty when you're making out or doing something more, or even having phone sex with you, then she may be ready to take it to the next level.

Of course, this could all just be talk, but if she's comfortable enough with herself and you to go this far, then she may be ready for more.

It's perfectly fine to have a relationship with someone but not have sex, regardless of how long you've been together. Sex and love aren't synonymous, and everyone is ready for sex at different times.

Don't feel pressured to have sex just because you think people in relationships should have sex. Not Helpful Helpful It would depend on who you ask.

Some people believe that sex outside of marriage is okay, while others think sex should be limited to marriage.

However, regardless of whether you wait until marriage to have sex, you and your partner should both be ready to have sex and capable of handling the consequences such as needing reproductive healthcare, getting birth control, handling birth control failure, or dealing with STI transmission or unwanted pregnancy.

Not Helpful 94 Helpful Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Don't pressure her into it, let her make her decision slowly. Helpful 6 Not Helpful 0. Respect the way she thinks.

If she is not ready, accept it. Don't pressure her because you will lose her. Helpful 10 Not Helpful 0. Look for hints that she wants to talk about sex.

This means she's probably thinking what you're thinking. Helpful 6 Not Helpful 1. Helpful 4 Not Helpful 1. Don't do it before you are ready!

Meaning don't let anybody convince you to do it so you are cool or any crap like that, you have to have self control. Helpful 4 Not Helpful 0.

Be safe. If your girlfriend does in fact want to have sex, you should follow all the tips of this other manual: Have-Safer-Sex.

Safer sex is better. Find out whether or not you are ready to have sex. Helpful 4 Not Helpful 2. Helpful 2 Not Helpful 0.

Be gentle enough to control your self when she says no. No means no. Just make it seem its ain't a big deal.

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This will turn your girlfriend off and will make her much less likely to sleep with you. Do not act like you are obsessed with sex.

Let's face it -- if you're a male of a certain age who is desperate for his girlfriend to have sex with him, then you probably are obsessed with sex.

But that doesn't mean you have to make jokes, innuendos, or even blatant references to sex all the time. The last thing you want your girlfriend to think is that you're a horndog who is so obsessed with sex that you don't care which lady comes into your bed.

You should make her feel special, like you want only her. You don't have to hide the fact that you're a man with needs, but you should avoid being vulgar, talking about sex all the time, or talking about other people who have sex all the time.

Don't make derogatory comments about other women. This will make your girlfriend feel like a piece of meat. Remember that you're not with your bros, but with your special lady.

Be loyal. If you want to make your girlfriend trust you, then you have to be loyal to her. She'll never have sex with you if she thinks you're talking to or checking out other women, or even hanging out with other women.

Though you don't have to be rude to or ignore other women, you should have a laser-sharp focus on your girlfriend so she knows that you will always be there for her, especially after you start having sex.

Spend lots of time with her. Make sure that you plan at least one or two dates every week and that you check in with her at least once a day if you're not together.

There's a difference between being loyal and being possessive and smothering your girlfriend with affection.

You should not only show your girl that you're loyal by being loyal to her, but by showing that you're a loyal sibling, friend, and teammate.

Show loyalty in many aspects of your life and your girl will be impressed. Part 2 of Treat her like a lady. If you want your girlfriend to have sex with you, then you should treat her like a lady, not just like someone you want to hook up with.

To do this, you have to be a gentleman and be courteous, kind, understanding, and generally admirable. Open doors for her, give her your coat when she's cold, pull out chairs for her, and help her carry her heavy bags.

Make sure to compliment her to let her know how great she looks or how special she is. It's important to be a gentleman, but don't do anything that feels too unnatural to you, or she'll be able to tell that you're not being yourself.

Clean your home. This may sound silly, but if you want your girlfriend to really feel special, then you shouldn't invite her to hang out at your place if it looks like the set for World War Z.

You need to make sure to remove any dirty laundry off your floor, clean your counters, and make your bed look and smell as clean and inviting as possible.

Not only will this make your lady feel special, but it'll make her feel more inclined to have sex with you. She won't want to get it on if your bed is covered in candy wrappers and dirty underwear.

If you drive her around a lot, you should also keep a clean car. Give your lady the respect she deserves by making sure she has a clean seat. Show an interest in all of her; not just her body.

Your girl's biggest fear may be that you don't care at all about her mind because you're too busy obsessing over her body.

So, you have to prove her wrong. Show her that you are about who she is as a person, about her hopes and dreams, and about what makes her tick.

Ask her about her friendships, her childhood, and her favorite experiences. Show her that you value her opinion.

Ask her what she thinks about the current political situation in your state, or about the look of your new outfit. Make eye contact when you talk to her.

Show her that everything she says is important to you. Take her out on romantic dates. If you want to build the sexual tension, you have to build the romance first.

Make her feel special by taking her out, dressing up, and picking a romantic spot for dinner, a drink, or even just for stargazing.

You don't have to do anything corny or out of your element to make her feel special. Though you and your lady can have fun at baseball games, birthday parties, or at a loud, sweaty concert, these events will be less conducive to lovemaking.

Doing something romantic once in a while will show your lady that she really matters to you. Be attentive to her needs. If you're not attentive to your lady's everyday needs, then how will you be attentive in the bedroom?

Your girl needs to feel like you know when she's sad, nervous, anxious, or even just cold or hungry. Pay attention to her eyes, her body language, and her words to know if there's something bothering her.

If you act completely oblivious when she's obviously upset about something, then she'll think you're not really paying attention to her.

If something's wrong, don't be afraid to ask her what's up. This will only show that you care. Make sure she's ready to have sex. If you really want to treat your lady well, then you have to be able to have an idea about whether or not she's ready for sex.

If you're her first boyfriend, if she's sexually inexperienced, or if she's deeply religious or has other moral convictions that make her steadfast about not having sex, then you should back off and wait for her to trust you enough to even consider having sex with you.

But here are some ways to know if she does want to have sex with you: If things have been getting hot and heavy in the hook up department, then she may be ready to move forward.

If she's been talking about sex, giving you sexual compliments, and touching you a lot more, then she may be ready for sex.

If she's been hinting that she wants to sleep over, spends a lot of time in or near your bed, or invites you over late at night, then she may be ready for more intimacy.

If she has deep moral or religious convictions that make her not want to have sex, don't try to force it. Accept that some girls will never have sex until they're married and that there's nothing you can do to change their mind.

Part 3 of Be prepared. If you plan on trying to have sex, or even talking about having sex with your girl, then you should be prepared with some condoms in case the mood strikes her.

This doesn't mean that you should flash the condoms or make her feel uncomfortable, but it does mean that you should have some backup just in case things do go in a favorable direction.

If she wants to have sex and you have to run out to the drugstore for some condoms, this may make your first sexual experience fall flat.

Set the mood. If you want your girl to have sex with you, then you have to set the mood. You should start the evening by doing something romantic to soften her up.

Then, go back to your clean apartment, which should be stocked with red wine, grapes, chocolate, and some light jazz on the radio.

Light the candles and turn the radio on to get her in a romantic mindset, and offer her something to eat or drink.

If this feels corny, you should only do what makes you both get in the mood. If you just want to dim the lights instead of lighting candles, then that's fine too.

Kiss her. If you want your girl to have sex with you, then you have to be a master kisser. Even if you've been kissing for a while, you should still know how to kiss her in a variety of ways and make your kisses feel fresh.

Don't overwhelm her and grope her the second you lock lips. Instead, take it slow, grazing your lips as you touch her hair or stroke her face.

Take breaks from kissing so she has time to come up for air and want you even more. You are not very likely to have sex with your girlfriend if all you've done is kiss.

It takes a bit longer for things to reach a natural progression. Play hard to get. If you really want to make your girlfriend want you, then you shouldn't act like a sexual beast, moving rapidly from kissing to touching, to ripping off your clothes and practically levitating into the bedroom.

Instead, you should kiss your girlfriend for a few seconds, then hold back, stroke her, and talk to her. Repeat this move a few times and wait for her to go wild.

Because this will make your girlfriend feel like you like her, but that you're in control of your desires and aren't desperate to get your hands all over her -- even if you are.

This move will make her want to be the one who asks for more. Touch her. If you want to turn on your girlfriend, you can start thinking about doing more than just kissing.

Begin by lightly caressing her arms, the back of her head and hair, and then, as things progress, stroke her breasts under her shirt or wait for her to touch you.

If your clothes are off or partly off, you can kiss her breasts or touch her in more sensual ways. Just make sure that your actions are reciprocated -- if you're touching her and she just lies there and doesn't make noise or do anything, then you're probably making her uncomfortable.

Make sure she's ready for more before you proceed. If you're already in the bedroom and hooking up, then you can simply ask her if she's ready to have sex with you.

This doesn't have to be elaborate or corny -- just say, "Are you sure you're ready? Don't ever pressure her. If your girlfriend says she's not ready to have sex with you, then you shouldn't pressure her.

If she pushes you away every time you try to touch her breasts, take off her shirt, or touch her below the belt, then she is definitely not ready.

See if she wants a lot of alone time with you. If suddenly, your girlfriend's friends are nowhere to be found, and she wants to spend a lot of time alone with you, in one of your homes or bedrooms, then it's likely that she wants to get intimate -- to some degree.

If she wasn't ready for sex, then she'd be more likely to avoid any uncomfortable situations where you're completely alone and wanting more than she can give you.

See if she invites you over. If you've never been alone in her place before, and she invites you in, then she may be telling you she wants something more from you.

If she conveniently picks a date night location near her place and then casually steers you in the direction of her home, then she may be telling you that she wants to get intimate.

This takes some planning and foresight, so it's likely she's put a lot of thought into getting you alone in her place. See if she tries to sleep over at your place.

If she's never slept over, but she comes over with a bigger bag that is likely to be an overnight bag, then she may be telling you that she wants something more.

If she wants to spend some time in bed with you, then it's likely that she doesn't just want to sleep.

Falling asleep next to a person can feel almost as intimate as sex, so if she's trying to stay at your place, she may be telling you she's ready for the next step.

This doesn't mean that she's ready for sex, but it does make it more likely that she wants to be intimate. Method 2 of Be prepared. If you plan on asking your girlfriend if she wants to have sex, then you should do it in an intimate setting -- not while you're splitting a cheeseburger.

So, if you're ready to have sex, and it turns out that she's ready to have sex, then what does this mean? Don't show up at her place, or invite her to yours, knowing that there's a chance you'll have sex without being prepared.

Don't show the condoms to her or creep her out, but have them at your disposal just in case she is ready.

Nothing will ruin an intimate moment more than a trip to the drugstore. Get intimate. Once you're prepared for action, you should reach a point where you're intimate with your lady.

This means you should take her out, make her feel special, and then get some time alone with her. How intimate do you have to be?

This depends on how fast things progress. If you're already in the bedroom and part -- or most -- of your clothes are off, then it is time to ask her for confirmation that she is ready to take things to the next level.

If you're just kissing on the couch and she doesn't make any more moves, it may be too soon to ask. Ask if she's ready.

When the time is right, stroke your woman, look into her eyes, and say, "Are you ready? Make it clear that you're asking whether or not she's ready for sex, and wait for a response.

She'll appreciate that you can be subtle and open at the same time. Obviously, make sure your girl is sober when this decision is made. The worst thing you can do is pressure her into doing something she'll regret later when you're both under the influence.

React appropriately. If she says she's ready for sex, then do a private cheer, get your condoms, and get ready to get it on. And if she says she's not ready, respect her decision and let her know that you're perfectly cool with that.

Tell her she's worth the wait and that she can take all the time she needs. Be a gentleman. If you get angry or try to pressure her, then she'll be second guessing your relationship right away.

If she says no, cool it for a while. Don't ask her if she wants to have sex every time you give her a peck on the lips. That will get old fast.

Never rush. Method 3 of See if she's talking about sex more often. If your girlfriend is ready to take the next step with you, it's likely that she'll be talking about sex more.

She can do this in a lot of different ways, from talking about your friends who just started having sex, to casually asking your opinion on sexual topics.

If the word "sex" is on the tip of her tongue, then it's obviously on her mind. If she's suddenly very curious about which of your friends are having sex and which aren't, then she may be wondering when you two will have sex too.

See if she gives you sexual compliments. If she tells you that you have a great chest, sexy biceps, or amazing abs, then she's hinting that your body turns her on.

Instead of telling you that she likes your shirt or that you have a great haircut, she's choosing to let you know that she notices your body -- and may be thinking about all of the things it can do for her.

If she gives you these compliments while you're kissing or being intimate, then it's even more likely that she may want to take the next step.

See if she talks about your bed a lot. If she comes over, pats your bed, and says it's "really comfortable," then she may be hinting that she wants to lie down on it with you.

If she even does lie on the bed and talk about how great it is, then she wants you to join her as soon as possible. See if she just tells you she's turned on.

This is a pretty bold move, but yes, your lady may just tell you that she's in the mood, feeling frisky, or just wants to hook up. This doesn't necessarily mean that she wants to have sex, but if she's comfortable enough to tell you that she's in the mood for something intimate, then it's not a leap that she may want to have sex with you.

See if she talks dirty. If your girlfriend has started talking dirty to you over the phone, sending you dirty texts, talking dirty when you're making out or doing something more, or even having phone sex with you, then she may be ready to take it to the next level.

Of course, this could all just be talk, but if she's comfortable enough with herself and you to go this far, then she may be ready for more.

It's perfectly fine to have a relationship with someone but not have sex, regardless of how long you've been together.

Sex and love aren't synonymous, and everyone is ready for sex at different times. Don't feel pressured to have sex just because you think people in relationships should have sex.

Not Helpful Helpful It would depend on who you ask. Some people believe that sex outside of marriage is okay, while others think sex should be limited to marriage.

However, regardless of whether you wait until marriage to have sex, you and your partner should both be ready to have sex and capable of handling the consequences such as needing reproductive healthcare, getting birth control, handling birth control failure, or dealing with STI transmission or unwanted pregnancy.

Not Helpful 94 Helpful Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Don't pressure her into it, let her make her decision slowly.

Helpful 6 Not Helpful 0. Respect the way she thinks. If she is not ready, accept it. Don't pressure her because you will lose her.

Helpful 10 Not Helpful 0. Look for hints that she wants to talk about sex. This means she's probably thinking what you're thinking.

Helpful 6 Not Helpful 1. Helpful 4 Not Helpful 1.

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